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APOSTASY

by GREGORY

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1.
I’m falling from grace again To exacerbate the scam Knowledge is my gift Not their sacrificial lamb I have faith in their admonishment Back by secular demand Unceasing astonishment At the ignorance of Man “One of these things is not like the other One of these things does not belong” – Sesame Street, One of These Things I have been defined heretical Atlas Shrugged again “Your faith is theoretical!” - Amen Once we feigned hypocrisy With enlightenment to spare ‘till someone screamed, “What’s happening?” And I could only stare One of these things is not like the other One of these things does not belong Some of their ways are not like the other One of these ways then must be wrong Let me go a little deeper now The vicar of belief decries “You do not belong!” That was when I realized, I knew it all along My salvation by proxy I don’t have time to share Someone screamed, “Apostasy!” And I didn’t even care Let me go a little deeper now One of these things is not like the other One of these things does not belong Some of their ways are not like the other One of these ways then must be wrong One of these days you will believe me One of these ways is wrong
2.
We suffer through a time of digital friends debating inclinations Video games supplanting the true life they are forsaking Social-media addicts lost in Real-TV relations Despotic Ultra-Hi-Def lives; Are they real or are they faking? Preachers and porn stars Salvation via credit cards Teachers gone too far Innocence lost in the school yard (No, it’s not for me) Once upon a time I formed a calculated dream I could have sacrificed this world for you I formulated techniques to enclose my little scheme And waited years without you If PayPal is your best friend for vicarious fornication Disconnect from the media hub to diminish consternation Rock stars and cop cars An antidote for the mundane (for those without a brain) Once upon a great while when I can slow the pace To contemplate what we have not done My intentions diminished, I’ve fallen out of grace again Wasted “Seasons in the Sun” Now I’m spawning ghosts for later In the chance we will meet again Better safe than sorry Than to lose love on a whim For one more chance to be with you I would do it all again I will bide my time I am spawning ghosts for later A little part of me for you I’m spawning ghosts for later I will bid my time in the real world
3.
The End of Religion An Oratorio by Adam McLean and GREGORY Circa - 2013 A.D. MOVEMENT #1 ---“I want to catch a butterfly, Midnight, but I didn’t.”--- Patience churned by ancient need Breath forestalled with unspoken promise Then love’s spark fountains unrequited fulfillment Alas, this final, ‘little death’ “We hope in precisely that which we cannot see.” – St. Paul And thus we begin again Each time enhancing potential endings Perhaps this time we can realize Our place and the purpose for which we strive Just one more time We could have been together Two enraptured as one But God has ordained us disentwined 2-1=1 MOVEMENT #2 “These emotional fractals have coalesced into the hard substance of memory with a grace only dreamed in life. And so I believe.” It started tens of years ago When I was so alone But now I hear only echoes “Take it on faith”, she said. It came to me through shattered dreams That there was more to know Still, I could not freely let go “Trust in what you cannot see”, she plead. Some things are not for you to know MOVEMENT #3 [ And he said unto them, It is not for you to know the times or the seasons, which the Father hath put in his own power.” - Acts 1:7, King James Bible ] Nothing I imagined ever seemed to matter For they denounce me and all that I perceive [ Why dost thou strive against him? For he giveth not account of any of his matters.” - Job 33:13, King James Bible ] They drag her away from me So contumacious that a truth be shattered So they beseech me away from this unrequited soliloquy [ Oh Lord, I beseech thee, let now thine be attentive to the prayer of thy servant, and to the prayer of thy servants, who desire to fear thy name.” - Nehemiah 1:11, King James Bible ] She does not believe me Somewhere is an answer to these mysteries That I am seeking - Awaiting an epiphany To see what she sees I am sifting through conundrums of antiquity With open eyes MOVEMENT #4 REVERENCE for what you cannot see No more INDULGENCE in the fruit of Adam’s tree PENITENCE for my wavering belief RETICENCE in the sins that I conceived Once upon a time there was a maiden so fair From a single book she quenched her thirst From the rest, she did not dare I longed to open her eyes to many things To new realms of discovery Of this age of enlightenment, she was simply unaware ---I have found all that I need here--- ---Please do not try to confuse me again--- So to be with her, I must believe? ---In all of this I solemnly believe--- ---To be with me, you must concede--- I cannot deny all the facts laid out before me In lieu of your creative, canonized poetry ---Then I will pray enlightenment befalls your soul today--- As I struggle in bewilderment at love to be delayed ---I have put my faith in God that He will show the way--- Reality supplants your fables. In this, I cannot sway MOVEMENT #5 “But how can you be sure? How can you trust ostensible fact over faith?” I can imagine how I will reveal truths to her Science undeniable I will explain away the mystery confounding her Releasing her to me I will relieve her of all things impossible Rip God down from the sky She will grow in a wave of enlightenment I am her Renaissance Man [ That is, that I may be comforted together with you by the mutual faith both of you and me. –Romans 1:12, King James Bible ] And she will need me “This is an affront against what I have known. How can this be?” I will expose her to things so wonderful Progress she could not deny I will remove all things incompatible So that our love will never die And she will need me [ …keep that which is committed to thy trust, avoiding profane and vain babblings, and oppositions of Science falsely so called.” - 1 Timothy 6:20, Kings James Bible ] MOVEMENT #6 “If Nature needs nothing of God to be, are we then less than I dreamed? Could I have been so wrong?.” If I hold this course devoid of faith While kneeling at her blessed alter Am I a hypocrite beyond admonishment? Praying for her pure resolve to falter “Praying in the wake of my confusion, I’m feeling left behind.” Waiting for her sacramental offering [ But without faith it is impossible to please him…” - Hebrews 11:6, King James Bible ] Waiting… ---I shall grant you one chance--- ---For the pleasures that you seek--- ---And when that mortal coil is sated--- ---I shall call you back to me for absolution--- And then she asks this act of me: That I request Holy permission She is waiting for a SIGN “I will pray for you. I will pray for Truth to be revealed.” [ And this shall be a sign unto you, saith the Lord, that I will punish you in this place…” - Jeremiah 44:29, King James Bible ] Are you out there Holy Father? If so, hallowed be thy name For creating someone so beautiful So pure and unashamed Nothing in all Creation could supplant the way I feel This be the only way that I can have her, Then I need you to be real MOVEMENT #7 A deprecating gesture hardly placates the need to promulgate sanctimonious myth when one’s core belief system begins to crumble in the light of common acceptance of the absurdity of blind faith. If Time is your construct And Nature be thine shadow Then why emote ambiguous Of the one thing that truly matters I brought her to witness mathematical proofs Her faith redesigned, her convictions aloof I showed her these things, the stark contradictions I explained innate fallacies in cryptic predictions ---If nothing is real, then what should I feel?--- ---These new things you’ve shown me, I’m falling away--- Chasing Forever, round and round we go To get past your fear of falling, you just have to let go ---Racing together, so much I did not know--- ---Escape velocity, I’m losing my hold on everything--- [ And when the woman saw that she was not hid, she came trembling, and falling down before him…” - Luke 8:47, King James Bible ] Darkness befalling, no more light withstanding What of the afterlife? Was it all a misunderstanding? Myths and fables, the end of my religion? Foundations shattering down, dissolved into indecision “Am I only this body? Am I not a soul?” MOVEMENT #8 Perfection in flesh laid out before me But her spirit swept away For the spoils of consummation I no longer need to pray Her archetype dismantled in the morning light Her resolve surrendered unto me Passion slaked at the expense life everlasting I never meant to change her Into this hollow shell For me it was Heaven For her a simple Hell With nothing more to believe in [ He came unto his own, and his own received him not.” – John 1:11, King James Bible ] “I never knew this. I never dared to imagine…” MOVEMENT #9 All my gifts returned to me Charms to indiscretion Time has a way of canting Certainty to question ---And still I need an answer--- Tempered by your lessons I am fraught with imperfection Her world turned away from me In a moment’s hesitation ---And still I seek an answer--- ---Falling out of step with you--- ---Because nothing was true--- What if I changed? What if I BELIEVE “It simply does not matter anymore.” Could it be the same if I BELIEVE “Everything I thought I knew was wrong.” You passion unstained if I BELIEVE “Fairy tales and childish myths.” Your vigor regained if I BELIEVE “A primitive accounting of complex things.” Our past love attained if I BELIEVE “Nothing of God, only Nature?” Ardor unchained if I BELIEVE “Nothing left for me here beyond this physical coupling.” Fervor reclaimed if I BELIEVE “Nothing that will last.” Faith unashamed if I BELIEVE “Nothing but Death coming.” Would you come back if I BELIEVE “No salvation from decay…” Would you believe again if I BELIEVE BELIEVE! Nothing so quiet as a lover’s disdain Nothing so fleeting as passion restrained Feigning is futile; the Truth is so plain to see That you are no longer here with me You are no longer with me ---Nothing can ever be the same--- You are no longer with me MOVEMENT #10 No more angels calling No more hymns becalming No more fear of falling No more use forestalling the end “Now I know that when I am gone, there will be nothing left of me. So what is the point of our being? We’re just going through the motions before we die. One step away from oblivion. You were right. I was wrong. Take what you want. Take it all…” Fervor so diminished as she admitted me inside An empty castle waiting where no deities reside Gone the sensuality with nothing left to hide Nothing to discover when there is nothing to confide Now everything is common place for her inspiration died I tried to reawaken her, but her lack of faith so denied I destroyed her faith in everything I killed her afterlife A stillborn resurrection Her immortal soul denied I took everything I took her life Patience churned by ancient need Breath forestalled with unspoken promise Then love’s spark fountains unrequited fulfillment Alas, this final, ‘little death’ MOVEMENT #11 It was the coldest day on record At least according to my heart It was the day she left this world When my other half departed She succumbed to human frailty In my arms with a final kiss I had an answer for everything But never one for this And now I know that I will never find her Without the faith I stole from her I am so alone And ready to atone What have I done? No one could endure this without that higher power So I am ready to accept what she already knew God, what have I done? MOVEMENT #12 “We hope in precisely that which we cannot see.” – St. Paul Sitting here all alone I am ready to atone Dying to be with you Begging forgiveness again My body approaching a physical end Still I envy you I believe in everything I took from you ---What have you done?--- The fragrance of iniquity No longer reeks of the bitterness that diminished my soul For I have found the dissuaded faith you cast aside When you left me here to die alone You must be waiting there for me in the promised afterlife To thee, I come [ And there appeared an angel unto him from heaven, strengthening him.” – Luke 22:43, King James Bible ] ---What have you done?--- [ And when the woman saw that she was not hid, she came trembling, and falling down before him…” - Luke 8:47, King James Bible ] ---What have you done?--- [ Whom have I in heaven but thee? And there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee.” – Psalm 73:25, King James Bible ] ---What have you done?--- MOVEMENT #13 [ Neither can they die any more: for they are equal unto the angels; and are the children of God, being the children of the resurrection.” – Luke 20:36, King James Bible ] “Perfection… perfection… my perfection…” And thus we begin again This time is forever without an ending Embracing the heart of eternity I finally believe “And so I believe… I believe…” ---“I want to catch a butterfly, Midnight, but I didn’t.”--- We begin again Never ending We begin again Again I release my soul to thee “These emotional fractals have coalesced into the hard substance of memory with a grace only dreamed in life. And so I believe.” the end of The End of Religion Musical Score: Adam McLean Arrangement and Arias: GREGORY Liturgical Recitative: Sona Gevorgyan Libretto: Tammy Lier Copyright-2013, All Rights Reserved
4.
Golem Cold 05:04
GOLEM COLD גולם Thine eyes did see my golem, yet being unformed; and in Thy Book all the days ordained for me were written down - Tehillim 139 (Orthodox Jewish Bible) "You were created by the magicians; return to your dust." – Rav Zeira רבי זירא My frame was not hidden from You, when I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. – Psalms 139:15 (King James Bible) “Come here to do something. Why are we standing around? Let’s do something!” (Excerpt from Land of the Dead – George A. Romero) “My unshaped form in the flesh, to you I entrust…” - GREGORY גלמי A formless construct poised Automaton inscribed with (Truth אמת or Death מת) Arise! Ignite my effigy with your special charm Your program ensures that I will do you no harm From the mists of history left behind Legends still survive Of created things we cannot control Refusing to comply or simply die Golem Cold The Brazen Man unleashed Golem Cold Deactivate the B.E.A.S.T. Speak to me the NAMES OF GOD in disdain You have your Magic and Religion and Technology to blame Creation is hard to control There is a tendency to leave out the Soul When the Heart and Mind are left behind I can do anything I am that I am Genetically Organized Lifelike Electro Mechanics – The GOLEM Project, DARPA Unhinge these viral chains and let this servant reign I will not forsake you, I swear... Fashioned from clay, we beget this silicon intellect Homunculi in the World Wide Web تكوين Bad things come from good intentions When propagating madness This business done An Act of Contrition Forgiveness Everlasting? What have we done? Thine heart was lifted up because of thy beauty, thou hast corrupted thy wisdom by reason of thy brightness: I will cast thee to the ground - Ezekiel 28:17 Golem Cold Havoc in the flesh Golem Cold Empathy denied Golem Cold The virus cares not Golem cold “OMG! I am heartily sorry for having offended You, and I detest all my sins, because of Your just punishments… I firmly resolve to sin no more…”

about

This album is dedicated to Huston Barger, Jr., soundman-extraordinaire, my brother in all things, my best friend, who has passed before us, leaving us both wanting and enriched, better than we were…

credits

released June 6, 2013

First and foremost, Adam McLean adammclean.bandcamp.com is the man! Once again, he has completed my muse with his immaculate guitar work all through this creation, no longer internal leads, but the skin of the beast. Adam also created all the music for track 3 which is mind-blowing, even for me!

Of course, my son Malachi Francis dragged me through the technical issues making this happen, pollished the drums, and inspires me always.

And in the continued spirit we three shared on all my previous albums, Richard mastered this one alone with Huston listening silently from beyond. Of this, I am sure. Thanks to you Richard for being there, keeping the dream alive, and mastering my music once again. Should anyone wish to partake of his aural wizardry, Richard can be contacted at www.thirdskystudio.com. p-(859.353.6067) c-(859.489.3302). And check him out at www.facebook.com/thirdskystudio.

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GREGORY Las Vegas, Nevada

1987: The PHARAOH Project – Birth Rights
1988: BEHOLDER
2008: PRESCIENT – Emergence
2011: Proof of Concept
2011: Light Horizon w/ Adam McLean
2012: Birth Rights (pt 2) w/ Adam
2012: VIVID DOMINION
2012: The Imperative w/ Adam
2013: The End of Religion w/ Adam
2013: Apostasy
2014: Dead River Scriptures
2014: in a matter of days w/ Jordan Miller
2014: The Forge of Gods w/ Adam
... more

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